Im suffering depression. I know it, ive been here so many times before, and i was doing sooo good. Then suddenly that slippery slop starts, like a horror movie you watch and you know something bad is gonna happen but you cant do anything to stop it. You just have to watch as it happens. It starts with something little, an unhappy thought, and inconsiderate friend, and then that little thought gets in your head and becomes bigger and bigger. Then you start feeling panicky, and unable to function. I started to cry an cry and cry and still could cry right now. I find talking to people hard, i dont want to eat and i could sleep all the time, but often my mind is going over and over everything and i drive myself crazy and cant sleep.
I know its not right, i know i can do better. I know im not rational. But i feel like a slave to my feelings. I wish i could do better, i wish i could be a better person. A few weeks ago i was doing good. i loved my life and was happy, but then some how i ended up back down here. Now i just have to figure out how to get back up to happy again.